I Have a Title!

My child is a da-da's boy for sure, as he has been calling his father dada for over a year now.  I generally have felt like I was just that lady who is always around to change my pants, hook me up with some food, and keep me safe. He could say the word mama from about 14 months of age, but I don't think that he really make the association in the word and who I am until finally now!  The other day he caught a glimpse of my driver's license (and lord knows how he knew it was me based on the quality photo) he pointed to it and said MA-MA.  Hooray! I took that as an invitation to show him all the pictures of me around the house so he could say it over and and over.  MELT.  Yesterday, I had been in his room with him and then had to head downstairs for a moment, when next thing I knew he was at the top of the stairs at the gate screaming for maaaa-maaaaa.  Another tug at the heartstrings.  I know that eventually this name calling will begin to tire, but I have waited 9 months of pregnancy and 20 months of life to get to this point, and I am going to relish the heck out of it.  

Martyrmom

As with most tasks in my life, I tend to plunge in headfirst, engulf myself completely in the process of learning about the details, and devote most of my time and energy to it.  Well, unless we are talking about some household tasks, then I can be a little lackadaisical at times, but who can be anal about everything?!  In any case, I have tackled this 'career' of motherhood head-on, so much so that it seems that minute things become a matter of life or death at times.  Our nap situation; going day by day, it has been an adjustment for all, but one that I feel will work out for the best. Have I worried about it constantly? YES. Have I cried out of frustration (and hormones)? YES. Is it that big of a deal? NO.  My son will not remember these times of his life, and he is a very happy and healthy little man, so there are many blessings that I must count right this minute.
However, in taking on my role as 'mom' I seem to have also taken on this other complex of having to do everything with it comes to parenthood and that taking a 'break' would be a guilt-ridden fest of self denial.  I have become one of those moms who takes their kid everywhere with them and when at home, I found myself rushing to get my chores completed in the mere hour of a nap so that I could focus attention to my son when he wakes up.  What?!  As a teacher, I know what kind of spoiled monster this can create, for both of us to become so dependent on one another.  Now I'm not saying that my son is incapable of self-entertainment, as he has been Mr. Independent from birth, but this complex has driven me to feel as if I am not doing my 'job' if I do not spend his waking hours engaging him in learning, playing, adventure, etc. I do have to complete household tasks and dinner while he is awake, but the thought of doing something that I enjoy doing like reading (ha ha, I know) or finishing his newborn scrapbook (yeah he's going on 2...) can be done while he is awake sends me into a panic that I am not doing right by my son if I am not focused on him.  I am realizing that with the second mere months away that this train of thought will seriously derail in my face once I bring that baby home. Yet, why is it so hard to take some time for yourself once you become a mom?  I want to know that it is okay to drop him off at a sitter so I can get some things done. (well if I had one other than when my husband is free) I sorta envy my working friends that have family or a daycare that they can plop their child in so they can have an afternoon "free".  I want to know that I should go ahead and spend a monthly fee on a gym so I can swim and workout without having to chase him around. I'd like to schedule my Dr. appointments for anytime, so I don't have to worry about interfering with lunch or a nap.  I'd love an afternoon at the beach with my girlfriends where I can SIT IN A CHAIR and actually have a continuous conversation about something other than diapers and naps.  But I don't think I deserve any of this as I truly feel that signing up to be a SAHM means that is what I do, 24/7 and that this is just my new way of life, so suck it up.  Is that my new reality that I am still reaching for the 'old' me or am I stringing myself up on cross here unable to grow into my new position as a mother and accept that I do still exist? 

Another top Ten

This is one you won't see on Letterman. Top Ten Reasons it's a Bad Plan to be Pregnant ALL Summer.. 10. No beer. Nothing is better than an icy cold one on the beach or sipping one on a patio after a great summer's day. 9. The heat. Big surprise there; I am one who doesn't mind being hot, but something about cooking another human makes it terribly unbearable. 8. No water games. No surfing, kayaking, body boarding, SUP boarding, or even general wave bashing on a rough surf day. Bummer. 7. No chance at a fall half marathon or any summer fun run. 6. Maternity bathing suits are designed to act like nylon tents and make you even hotter. 5. You didn't even know you could sweat there. 4. Shaving and pedicures become downright impossible at a certain point. 3. You are on the sidelines for most summer games and bike rides. Even playing cornhole becomes precarious. 2. Bug bites are hard to scratch when you can't bend over properly. 1. No beer. Nuff said.

18 month snapshot

Okay, more like 19 month snapshot, as I am a little late but we are quite the developing little guy these days.
VERBAL:  I believe it is about time that I watch what I say as my little parrot is fully on repeat mode.  Now most of you will not understand the words that are coming out of his mouth, but I spend the better part of 12 hours with this little man, so I can truly see how much he is saying! Compound words are a new favorite: airplane, sunshine, mailman, lawnmower, sunscreen. I am working on getting him to put two words together at this time, so far I have had luck with more milk and love you (which will make your heart melt).  We are also making a plethora of sounds, if there is any type of engine noise to be made he can do it.  I find it intriguing that little boys are just automatically drawn to things of the engine.
Motor Skills: I have to admit that he doesn't take off out of the starting block like a shot as many times a day as he used to.  Well, unless something is quite exciting to him or he is going nuts because he is overtired.  This is nice in that he can sit and work on putting puzzle blocks in a cube, or stack blocks, or even build towers with legos, as long as he doesn't become too frustrated.  He can successfully help me buckle him into his highchair as well as slide his arms out of his car seat straps when unbuckled.   I am beginning to enjoy the freedom that comes with not having to feed him every single bite of food as he is getting more proficient at feeding himself yogurt and applesauce. As long as he doest try to drink from the bowl like he sees his father do with his cereal!  He drinks from a cup pretty well, as I let him try this out with (clean) bathwater and outside as he can still tip it over too far at times.  UP! has become one of our favorite words as he can now successfully climb onto the couch and chairs.  I know it is just a matter of time before I find him standing outside of his crib!
Demeanor: He really is just a happy and sweet little guy. He LOVES to play with other adults and watch what other children are doing. He would quite possibly go home with any stranger as he is constantly waving, chasing people down, and giving them lap fulls of toys.  He loves hugs and kisses (thank goodness!) and will hug on any one of his stuffed animals (an-mals) and blanket, especially first thing in the morning.  He is getting very good a following directions as well as blatantly ignoring others.  Per a previous post I am at fault for our current terrible napping situation, which leaves him cranky in the late afternoon and super picky when it comes to eating.  I figure that he is also going through a phase of just not wanting anything unless it is pasta or applesauce, so I roll with it, and realize that he will not starve to death if he cannot eat pasta 3 meals a day.
Admittedly so I am enjoying being 'on top of the game" yet I know that I am nearing the beginning of a whole new world with two!

Earning my allowance

He really isn't jealous..yet.

Working on our naps

Still No-Nap Sevilla

I know that I have at least five posts on the napping of my son, which has NEVER been an easy feat. I am currently in hour two of waiting for him to finally fall asleep as he is happily singing in his crib. Yes, I am blessed with a child that will hang in his crib contentedly for these two hours and not scream his face off at me. ( Oh, wait, I spoke too soon)  But this will become the same child that will turn into a crabby version of himself by 6pm and will refuse to eat dinner, splash like a maniac in his bath, and take another hour to settle down for bed. I a,pm beginning to wonder if I have somehow misplaced the blame that he is 'not a napper' and that I am the one that falls short when it comes to this precious time. Quite possibly I am the one who has failed him day in and day out by sometimes putting my needs above his.  I am a morning person, well after the first cup of coffee, and am most productive in the morning, so exercise, shopping, errands are best for ME around 10 am.  My son loves that morning nap, and quite often I omitted this need for the nap by going to stroller class, blowing off the nap since we are on a vacation, never really sticking to one concise plan of action.  And now I wonder why he has such a hard time taking a nap, as I have created this monster out of my own desires.  Things have been convenient being able to work around the schedules of others so that we can attend play dates and such, but now i realize that I have to untrain this behavior. By this time of year I wanted him to take just one nap, generally after lunch, for at least a couple of hours so that we can both recharge and have  a predicable day. The past few weeks I have generally let him give me the signals when he is tired, rather it be at 9 am or 5pm and let him nap.  I have spent up to an hour in my car letting him sleep.  I do truly enjoy this flexibility in life, but now I am laying down the law.  I am the adult here and in charge, right?  So goodbye to stroller class for a few weeks, no playdates, and maybe tiny trips to the beach when I can get them in, because I am getting this child on a proper schedule, rather I like it or not! Starting tomorrow.....as this day's nap is becoming a complete fail.