Staying home ain't easy. I will first preface this in saying that I love the chance that I have to be with my son each and every day and those of you that have to take on a part time or full time job with parenting earn my highest respect. My list of benefits would greatly out number this list that many of you will find as petty. Yet everyone has their "grass is always greener" aspects of life and these would be mine.
1. Minimal adult interaction. I do try to get out to a baby/momma aerobics class and do frequent the park, but nothing is like having an adult conversation that does not revolve around teething or nap times. I find it difficult to discuss the situation in Libya with a fifteen month old.
2. Abundance of snacks. You are home all day and therefore all of your favorite foods are right at hand, not carefully packaged in your lunch bag for portion control.
3. I probably spend 60% of my day in the kitchen. Making breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Cleaning up from each meal, and then again foraging for snacks that I don't need.
4. Feeling of being chained to the house by the ever important feeding and nap times. Initially nursing made it virtually impossible to leave the house, now trying adhere to the nap time so that meltdowns aren't inevitable by dusk make me feel quite antsy for outdoor exposure come nighttime. There have been times where I have only left my house in 4 days to go for a walk or a run in a 2 mile radius of the house. I don't know what is going on beyond First Colonial Rd.
5. I am quite proficient at keeping myself busy with day to day chores and monthly tasks in housework. Yet when it comes to finishing my child's scrapbook that hasn't been touched in a YEAR, no dice. Long term projects or ones that are involved go by the wayside. If I cant do it in 15 minutes, then it isn't going to happen.
6. I do still have those lingering feelings of being an unproductive citizen when I have to tell people that I no longer teach and I stay home with my son. I have happily accepted this role as a SAHM, but do feel that maybe I should use some free time (what the hell is that?!) towards the community.
7. Financial strain. Luckily we have been living on one income for many years now and my husband and I tend more to be in the tightwad category, but nothing takes the fear out of knowing that each paycheck has to be carefully scrutinized and any major delineations from this may send me into a panic.
8. Superwoman complex. Due to #6 and #7, one may feel a sense of duty in needing to do it all in order to make a contribution to the family. In the year or so that I have become a mother, I am learning that it is unfair to assume that the stay at home person needs to take care of positively everything in the house and it is also impossible.
9. Mommy needs a break too. Some of you are blessed with children that will nap for 2 or more hours at a time. Never mine, unless he was sick. The second I shut that door for a nap, I am off like a sprinter to complete as many tasks in the span of 45 minutes to sometimes an hour and a half I could get completed. This does not mean that I have a opportunity to catch a show or enjoy a cup of coffee (or a meal for that matter) sitting down. My son does go to bed early, but by that time I am so wiped that my poor husband and I just sit on the couch like sloths, unable to come up with a menial conversation.
10. Appearance failure. I always thought it was silly that 1950's housewives cleaned and cooked in dresses and pearls, but I do think there is some bearance on feeling the need to get dressed up each day and one's self esteem. These days, dressed up means wearing shoes instead of slippers, having matching sweats on, and drying my hair yet only because it is cold outside. I tried to look like a normal human a few times in case the mailman comes to the door, but eventually I was covered in boogers, squash, and bleach spots on my favorite shirt.
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