Join the Club

I have been in the midst of several mommies lately, varying in degrees of brand new to three kids deep and I have come to realize one unspoken thing about motherhood. Each and every one of us is up to our necks in self- doubt.  Don't get yourself all upset and think I am saying that all mothers are a bunch of low self esteem having, timid folks; as if you have seen one with a screaming two year old in the store, you will know this is not the case. No, I am simply stating that on some level we will question the root and effect of our actions with our children.  Is formula evil? Why won't this rash go away? How can I get my child to eat vegetables? Which school really is the best for my child? This doubt of one's parenting tactics doesn't just start with that first breath, (man!) but continues as long as you are alive I do believe. Now I have been around some mommas who just exude confidence and you are envious of their 3 well-mannered children, perfectly coiffed hair, and what?, a manicure too?! ( Who has time for that?) These are the types of mothers whom I look up to for guidance and essential know-how on getting through any trial the wee ones pull out on you.  Yet, I know, somewhere deep inside, this momma also questions her every move with her children. She may only keep it inside, tell only her spouse or closest friend, or just ignore the tinny voice in her head saying 'what if....?'  And that my friends, makes me feel better.  I know this seems like a misery loves company type of speech, but I think knowing that someone else feels the same way you do, gives you that confidence in parenting that we all need. There is great responsibility in raising a human in to a successful person and most of the formative years are busy and tough. On the other hand, I must also remind myself that the child will not remember the night when he was one that you let him cry for 2 hours, or the missed naps for shopping, or the fact that you have called your pediatrician at least once a week for their entire life.  I am a closet trash television watcher of shows like Real Housewives (yeah, I know, but nursing took up lots of time back in the day) but I have to give one former housewife (Bethenny) props for her recent quote in a parenting magazine. "You don’t have to do everything right--just be there."  Amen sister. Join the club...