Baby proofing

The word alone, baby proof is a word loaded with hidden meanings and insights.   Is anything REALLY ever baby proofed?  Can you really say that your life was ready for the complete and utter disarray that has been placed upon it by your child? What about your marriage? Is the fact that you have very little patience left over in the day to donate it to your spouse a means to attest how much stress is placed on a new family? Can you honestly prepare for each obstacle that you will face as a parent?     
Now let me get away from this deep insight and speak in literal terms of baby proofing.  As I mentioned in a blog about a month ago, life is over as I know it once the wee one becomes mobile.  Lord yes! I feel that I now spend 80% of my day correcting the direction of my son. My new conversations go like this: "No, honey toilets are nasty, stoves are hot, oh crap, what did you just put in your mouth? Why is there poop on the floor?" And that was just yesterday... What is the real gem is that I know this is just the beginning.  I laugh when I first made an attempt to baby proof my house.  Sure sticking some plastic outlet covers and cabinet door stoppers seem like the dutiful things to do when you anticipate mobility.  But who knew that children like (and can!) to crawl under coffee tables and straight to your mess of speaker wires? Or find that tiny speck of paper you left out?  You know that night light that you lovingly placed in the baby's room to keep the boogie monster out? Yeah, that becomes like a literal moth to the flame, especially when you are on an important phone call and feel like a weirdo interrupting your caller to say "No touch!"  I then felt obligated to explain myself. 
And four legged critters beware. My poor dog is the best dog I have ever seen as she should now have had both eyes poked out, a tail that removes itself like a lizard's, and should be bald in some places where she becomes a stable surface to pull up on. He is obsessed with her!  If you come into this house now you may think you have entered this side of a ranch.  I've got enough gates to corral the little one in as well as a herd of sheep if need be.  Furniture is now strategically placed so that one cannot squeeze through.  I feel like the baby is related to an animal in that as long as his head will fit he will take it as an incentive to get through the tiniest space. Until he gets stuck under the table again, and is freaking out for me to come and rescue him.   And decorations? If the knickknack is not 3 feet off the ground, its outta here, or at least stashed in my spare room till I can figure out where to store it for the next 3 or so years.  Yikes! I detest to think about Christmas... 
I am learning that baby proofing your home and life is a day by day conquest that you just have to roll with the flow and maintain that eagle eye for those tiny things on the floor. Thank god I just got a new awesome vacuum with which I love to use on a near daily basis.