I am going to preface this blog with the tiny fact that my son sleeps through the night. I mean some 10-11 hours at a time. That off my chest, many of you will say I am selfish for the fact that I also want him to take a nap during the day. Yeah, yeah beggars cannot be choosers, but momma needs a bit of time to herself during the day. Is it so much to ask for the time to take a decent shower, eat lunch, or complete the simple mundane task of dusting? It took me 3 and a half hours (off and on) to dust my living room, and lord knows that I do NOT live in a 3000 sq foot house! I also know that I have signed up for a job that is 27/7, there are no 'off' days or even times when you are a parent, but naps are a mom's little gift of tranquility and sanity each day.
Not in this house.....My son decided back when he was going to sleep through the night that he was only going nap in increments of 30 minutes. He'll go down like a dream, drift off and as soon as the 30 minute mark hits, he goes from zero to scream! At that point you have to either catch him before he wakes (yes, 3 days of watching him nap and waiting to pounce and shush him back to sleep) or give up the ghost and have a crazy child by 6pm. The 'experts' say create a routine that signals sleep and you should have no problem. Have I mentioned that my son is not out of any textbook?! Anyway, I have now created this elaborate get-him-to sleep routine that is starting to take as long as the 30 minute nap itself. First I have to wrap him in his burrito wrap super tight, hoist him on to my shoulder, and alternate an awkward bounce from leg to leg till he stops fussing and eventually passes out. You can always tell its nap time around here by the huge wet drool spot on your shoulder.
I got to thinking that why am I exerting all of this energy for a mere catnap? Then I realized I had entered the zone that I wanted to avoid. I was so crazy adamant that I did NOT want to create bad sleeping habits for my son, that I actually ended up creating one. Now, we have come a loooong way from the days of the bathroom fan and I suppose when I thought about this nap time ritual that it didn't seem that ornate due to the methods of the past. But when I have to do a goofy hop step for ten minutes for my 4 month old to fall asleep I have become one of those women. Now I have read online about mommas who have their children nap in a swing or seat, rock them or wear them, or even drive around for 3 hours (really?).
I realized that it was all because of the fear of the cry.
Let's see the book titles: No Cry Nap Solution, Baby Whisperer, Happiest Baby on the Block all denote serene calm solutions where what they suggest will allow you to place your calm, happy baby in their bed awake and they will just drift off to sleep I have to raise the bullshit flag on this one. Each and every book and most of the crap you read on the Internet forbid you to let your child cry it out to sleep. Now I remember in my days of babysitting that many parents included this cry it out portion in their notes of the babies nighttime routine. I even pulled out the ol' Dr. Spock book (circa 1971 by the way, that also promotes giving a child an empty cigarette box to entertain themselves with..) which he said that we have thus spoiled the child rotten by doing all this silly methods to put the baby in their bed while they are asleep. He said that you do some bedtime cuddling, reading, or singing to calm the scene down, then put them in bed, give them a kiss and roll out. Did he mention that you may want earplugs and a bottle of wine? Now I have also read the flip side to the cry it out outlining the evils of it, saying that the child will lose trust in their caregivers, loss of appetite and weight, and a general sullen nature will overtake them. Choices choices. No wonder you may see the same mom's car drive past your house 18 times in 2 hours as she now believes that she will ruin her child from letting them cry.
I admit, I am working on the crying method. I don't love it. It absolutely breaks my heart to hear him cry, but I know that he is clean, fed, safe, loved, and above all tired. He is crying because I am not putting him to sleep the usual way and it is hard for him to grasp. We will see how long this will last as the crying experts say that they will cry less and less each time. I do have to say that with the new method in place he is starting to nap longer... Coincidence??
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