Divide and conquer

When I met my husband, we were totally ga-ga over one another.  We would spend hours whispering sweet nothings to each other, never be more than a half an inch apart, and would totally make single people sick with our PDAs.  I remember just hearing the sound of his amped up Eclipse coming down the street, how hard my heart would beat.  I am ever so lucky to marry my best friend and my one true soul mate. We were able to enjoy a good 8 baby free years together, and then along came the diapers and crying.
I do still love my husband so very much, and do still get a little excited when I see the car pull in the driveway (but that could be from lack of adult interaction) but things are different in this household.  I had feverishly been trying to put my finger on it as I know that our marriage is solid, but I just didn't feel like we were able to connect like we used to.  Lack of sleep?  Conversations only revolving around spit up and poop? My increasingly mundane lifestyle?  I finally brought this to his attention whilst taking the kids for a walk, and he nailed it on the head.  Attention.  
Pre-baby: most of your attention goes towards your spouse.  You can fully sit there and ask questions about their day, contemplate the answer, and give a thoughtful response.  
Post baby: Attention is divided between baby, spouse, dog, mountain of diaper laundry, burning dinner, and the next houseful of guests. So now asking about one's day is in parts as you barely hear the answer over the crying, and what you did hear is now jumbled in with thoughts of wondering why the baby is crying, and your response may fall more in line of asking your spouse to please help make the crying stop and can you please get me some more water.  
Looking back at that conversation, makes you feel like an a-hole for not being able to give your  full attention.
I feel that I have perfected the art of multitasking as learned while being a restaurant slave, and I now know I need to pull out those same skills and pony up some much deserved attention to my hubby.