Reversing the Herd Mentality

Today I dropped both kids off at a kids fitness class at the rec and I *gasp* kissed them both goodbye and headed off to the track for a stroller run with the baby.  I was the ONLY mom who did that.  Stated in the description of the class was that it was without caregivers and I checked with the instructor who said, "have a great run!" I probably sprinted out of that room without even a sideways glance.  I had an excellent run with my littlest, enjoyed some silent time, and was able to get back into class with five minutes left in the lesson. The kids AND moms were all doing the parachute together.  Part of me really wanted to feel guilty about not "helping out'.  Part of me wanted to chide myself that I missed an opportunity to see the children enjoying themselves.  Part of me wanted to feel contempt on the faces of the other moms that I "deserted" my kids to do something for myself.  Then I thought back to similar class at the YMCA when I only had one kid.  Same deal, I dropped him off, and headed out the door to enjoy a solo workout.  When I returned, I was once again the only parent out of at least 15 who left their kid in a class that was listed as no caregiver necessary.  After that one class, I stayed in the class with my son for the rest of the sessions and was really internally mad about it.  Somehow I deluded myself into thinking that if these other parents felt the need to be with their child that I must do the same.  Was I naive!
Mind you, I am not here to bash those of you who attend their children's lessons, games, events, just in my perspective, I feel that there is an unsaid sentiment that we cannot leave and that those of us who do are wrong.
I don't know where this need to feel that we have to be within arms reach of our children at all times became so prevalent.  Most moms I talk to would relish 40 minutes child-free and seem almost desperate to have that time to themselves. Personally, I am over feeling guilty for not doing things "traditionally" in today's world.  Looking back at many of my posts when I was a new mother outlines this struggle to conform to the standards of parenting when I did not feel comfortable doing so.  My own skin is very comfortable and realizing this allows me to grow in confidence I am doing what is right by my own family.  I am only hoping to see some of those other mother's on the track with me next week.  Wouldn't that be the real gift?

Third Eye Blind

I'm looking at this blinking cursor damning myself for even attempting to write a blog post when even a simple tweet is impossible to do these days.  Now with three kids four and younger, time management is truly an art form that I find I seriously lack, but that is a whole 'nother blog post.  I just have some simple thoughts on the poor status of my dear third child.  Mo is definitely an easy-going, patient baby boy and lord knows he absolutely has to be with so much chaos going on everyday.  Cliches do ring true with subsequent children especially since it is hard to divide ones already short attentions span by three.
1.  They have to cry.  Alot.  Much to any grandparent's chagrin, a third baby does have to wait more often than his siblings for food, naps, baths, and playtime.  I know this seems cruel and harsh to make a baby cry and I will always attend to his needs, but when your two year old is coloring on the walls (again) and your four year old is running laps around your kitchen at breakneck speed, the baby has to be put down to attempt to resume some sort of control.
2.  When you do have time, they get lots of extra snuggles.  The baby of the family knows they are the baby of the family from day one as exhausted parents wave the white flag at fertility and take the time to embrace each of those tender moments.  Freshly bathed smiles, messy pureed food faces, sweet smiles in their sleep are all cherished moments that we do stop and soak in.
3. Germs are a family affair. I am still a self proclaimed germaphobe and will do whatever I can to protect our family from the outside.  Once one of those sicky suckers enters the house its hard as hell to keep three kids wrangled far enough from one another NOT to share germs. My firstborn was 11 months before his first cold, my second, about 6 months.  My baby has basically been sick off and on since he was 2 months old.  One day he will thank me for it.
4.  Attention whore.  The baby knows that there is a long line of energy zappers ahead of him so he is loud, cute, and amicable with everyone.  I'm not one for enjoying the shrieking baby but I get that he has to be obnoxious to draw the attention away from the talkers int his family. And when he has your attention, he will pull out all of the cuteness stops to keep you there.
5.  The baby is probably the most loved one of all. No, not in the since of picking favorites or anything, just the fact he has two parents and two siblings who cannot wait to dote all over him  Hence the spread of the germies but well worth it to see the gummy smile he gives his older sibs.

The end...sorta

As it has obviously been months since I have been able to write with only one child and now with my new little one in the house I have decided that it will be virtually impossible.
Never fear, I intend to keep those interested updated in bits of 140 words or less via twitter.  Hopefully one day  I can resume full on typing but I have yet to learn how to type successfully with one hand.
Follow me @Hw2fldlndryw1hd

I Have a Title!

My child is a da-da's boy for sure, as he has been calling his father dada for over a year now.  I generally have felt like I was just that lady who is always around to change my pants, hook me up with some food, and keep me safe. He could say the word mama from about 14 months of age, but I don't think that he really make the association in the word and who I am until finally now!  The other day he caught a glimpse of my driver's license (and lord knows how he knew it was me based on the quality photo) he pointed to it and said MA-MA.  Hooray! I took that as an invitation to show him all the pictures of me around the house so he could say it over and and over.  MELT.  Yesterday, I had been in his room with him and then had to head downstairs for a moment, when next thing I knew he was at the top of the stairs at the gate screaming for maaaa-maaaaa.  Another tug at the heartstrings.  I know that eventually this name calling will begin to tire, but I have waited 9 months of pregnancy and 20 months of life to get to this point, and I am going to relish the heck out of it.  

Martyrmom

As with most tasks in my life, I tend to plunge in headfirst, engulf myself completely in the process of learning about the details, and devote most of my time and energy to it.  Well, unless we are talking about some household tasks, then I can be a little lackadaisical at times, but who can be anal about everything?!  In any case, I have tackled this 'career' of motherhood head-on, so much so that it seems that minute things become a matter of life or death at times.  Our nap situation; going day by day, it has been an adjustment for all, but one that I feel will work out for the best. Have I worried about it constantly? YES. Have I cried out of frustration (and hormones)? YES. Is it that big of a deal? NO.  My son will not remember these times of his life, and he is a very happy and healthy little man, so there are many blessings that I must count right this minute.
However, in taking on my role as 'mom' I seem to have also taken on this other complex of having to do everything with it comes to parenthood and that taking a 'break' would be a guilt-ridden fest of self denial.  I have become one of those moms who takes their kid everywhere with them and when at home, I found myself rushing to get my chores completed in the mere hour of a nap so that I could focus attention to my son when he wakes up.  What?!  As a teacher, I know what kind of spoiled monster this can create, for both of us to become so dependent on one another.  Now I'm not saying that my son is incapable of self-entertainment, as he has been Mr. Independent from birth, but this complex has driven me to feel as if I am not doing my 'job' if I do not spend his waking hours engaging him in learning, playing, adventure, etc. I do have to complete household tasks and dinner while he is awake, but the thought of doing something that I enjoy doing like reading (ha ha, I know) or finishing his newborn scrapbook (yeah he's going on 2...) can be done while he is awake sends me into a panic that I am not doing right by my son if I am not focused on him.  I am realizing that with the second mere months away that this train of thought will seriously derail in my face once I bring that baby home. Yet, why is it so hard to take some time for yourself once you become a mom?  I want to know that it is okay to drop him off at a sitter so I can get some things done. (well if I had one other than when my husband is free) I sorta envy my working friends that have family or a daycare that they can plop their child in so they can have an afternoon "free".  I want to know that I should go ahead and spend a monthly fee on a gym so I can swim and workout without having to chase him around. I'd like to schedule my Dr. appointments for anytime, so I don't have to worry about interfering with lunch or a nap.  I'd love an afternoon at the beach with my girlfriends where I can SIT IN A CHAIR and actually have a continuous conversation about something other than diapers and naps.  But I don't think I deserve any of this as I truly feel that signing up to be a SAHM means that is what I do, 24/7 and that this is just my new way of life, so suck it up.  Is that my new reality that I am still reaching for the 'old' me or am I stringing myself up on cross here unable to grow into my new position as a mother and accept that I do still exist? 

Another top Ten

This is one you won't see on Letterman. Top Ten Reasons it's a Bad Plan to be Pregnant ALL Summer.. 10. No beer. Nothing is better than an icy cold one on the beach or sipping one on a patio after a great summer's day. 9. The heat. Big surprise there; I am one who doesn't mind being hot, but something about cooking another human makes it terribly unbearable. 8. No water games. No surfing, kayaking, body boarding, SUP boarding, or even general wave bashing on a rough surf day. Bummer. 7. No chance at a fall half marathon or any summer fun run. 6. Maternity bathing suits are designed to act like nylon tents and make you even hotter. 5. You didn't even know you could sweat there. 4. Shaving and pedicures become downright impossible at a certain point. 3. You are on the sidelines for most summer games and bike rides. Even playing cornhole becomes precarious. 2. Bug bites are hard to scratch when you can't bend over properly. 1. No beer. Nuff said.

18 month snapshot

Okay, more like 19 month snapshot, as I am a little late but we are quite the developing little guy these days.
VERBAL:  I believe it is about time that I watch what I say as my little parrot is fully on repeat mode.  Now most of you will not understand the words that are coming out of his mouth, but I spend the better part of 12 hours with this little man, so I can truly see how much he is saying! Compound words are a new favorite: airplane, sunshine, mailman, lawnmower, sunscreen. I am working on getting him to put two words together at this time, so far I have had luck with more milk and love you (which will make your heart melt).  We are also making a plethora of sounds, if there is any type of engine noise to be made he can do it.  I find it intriguing that little boys are just automatically drawn to things of the engine.
Motor Skills: I have to admit that he doesn't take off out of the starting block like a shot as many times a day as he used to.  Well, unless something is quite exciting to him or he is going nuts because he is overtired.  This is nice in that he can sit and work on putting puzzle blocks in a cube, or stack blocks, or even build towers with legos, as long as he doesn't become too frustrated.  He can successfully help me buckle him into his highchair as well as slide his arms out of his car seat straps when unbuckled.   I am beginning to enjoy the freedom that comes with not having to feed him every single bite of food as he is getting more proficient at feeding himself yogurt and applesauce. As long as he doest try to drink from the bowl like he sees his father do with his cereal!  He drinks from a cup pretty well, as I let him try this out with (clean) bathwater and outside as he can still tip it over too far at times.  UP! has become one of our favorite words as he can now successfully climb onto the couch and chairs.  I know it is just a matter of time before I find him standing outside of his crib!
Demeanor: He really is just a happy and sweet little guy. He LOVES to play with other adults and watch what other children are doing. He would quite possibly go home with any stranger as he is constantly waving, chasing people down, and giving them lap fulls of toys.  He loves hugs and kisses (thank goodness!) and will hug on any one of his stuffed animals (an-mals) and blanket, especially first thing in the morning.  He is getting very good a following directions as well as blatantly ignoring others.  Per a previous post I am at fault for our current terrible napping situation, which leaves him cranky in the late afternoon and super picky when it comes to eating.  I figure that he is also going through a phase of just not wanting anything unless it is pasta or applesauce, so I roll with it, and realize that he will not starve to death if he cannot eat pasta 3 meals a day.
Admittedly so I am enjoying being 'on top of the game" yet I know that I am nearing the beginning of a whole new world with two!

Earning my allowance

He really isn't jealous..yet.

Working on our naps