Mom Hair

I had also heard that moms tend to put their looks on the back burner as they become so devoted to caring for everyone else.  SO TRUE.  I feel like I have sat here and bitched about my hair for the last few weeks, which I thought to be the cause of me feeling like a frumpy dumpy ever since my baby came screaming into this world.  The hair is an underlying issue that comes to a head when we go on to think that I really don't have any need to get dressed in the morning.  Well, at least out of my jammies.  Noah doesn't care what I am wearing, my poor husband has probably given up on me, and I feel that the general public tends to roll out of the house to Kroger in sweatpants too, so why shant I? When you are not putting yourself on stage for the public to see, there is little need to pull out extravagant routines into looking good. 
But the hair was a major stalemate.   I think my hair was back 6 out of 7 days last week, as it was about 10 inches too long and a great pull toy for my little one's new found coordination.  So I did it.  I drug myself to my hairstylist and nervously let her cut 7 inches off.  Thank god she is a sweetheart and did it in 3 inch increments so I could test out the waters.  I am now one that can be lumped in with other moms as "I knew she would cut her hair when the baby came" type of gal.  I had crazy visions that a haircut would be one that would look styled fresh off the pillow and that would propel me into looking like the cute hip moms you see in Baby Gap.  Not so much.  Now I have my hair back with bangs still sticking out in ridiculous angles but the ponytail is much shorter now.  I am still frequenting my workout clothes as daily attire and am lucky if I have time to thoroughly wash my face everyday. I think I have been watching too much What Not to Wear in hopes that style ideas will attach to me, or in hopes that secret footage is just around the corner.  

No-nap Sevilla

I am going to preface this blog with the tiny fact that my son sleeps through the night. I mean some 10-11 hours at a time.  That off my chest, many of you will say I am selfish for the fact that I also want him to take a nap during the day.  Yeah, yeah beggars cannot be choosers, but momma needs a bit of time to herself during the day. Is it so much to ask for the time to take a decent shower, eat lunch, or complete the simple mundane task of dusting?  It took me 3 and a half hours  (off and on) to dust my living room, and lord knows that I do NOT live in a 3000 sq foot house!  I also know that I have signed up for a job that is 27/7, there are no 'off' days or even times when you are a parent, but naps are a mom's little gift of tranquility and sanity each day. 
Not in this house.....My son decided back when he was going to sleep through the night that he was only going nap in increments of 30 minutes.  He'll go down like a dream, drift off and as soon as the 30 minute mark hits, he goes from zero to scream! At that point you have to either catch him before he wakes (yes, 3 days of watching him nap and waiting to pounce and shush him back to sleep) or give up the ghost and have a crazy child by 6pm.  The 'experts' say create a routine that signals sleep and you should have no problem.  Have I mentioned that my son is not out of any textbook?! Anyway, I have now created this elaborate get-him-to sleep routine that is starting to take as long as the 30 minute nap itself.  First I have to wrap him in his burrito wrap super tight, hoist him on to my shoulder, and alternate an awkward bounce from leg to leg till he stops fussing and eventually passes out.  You can always tell its nap time around here by the huge wet drool spot on your shoulder. 
I got to thinking that why am I exerting all of this energy for a mere catnap?  Then I realized I had entered the zone that I wanted  to avoid.  I was so crazy adamant that I did NOT want to create bad sleeping habits for my son, that I actually ended up creating one.  Now, we have come a loooong way from the days of the bathroom fan and I suppose when I thought about this nap time ritual that it didn't seem that ornate due to the methods of the past.  But when I have to do a goofy hop step for ten minutes for my 4 month old to fall asleep I have become one of those women.  Now I have read online about mommas who have their children nap in a swing or seat, rock them or wear them, or even drive around for 3 hours (really?).
I realized that it was all because of the fear of the cry. 
Let's see the book titles: No Cry Nap Solution, Baby Whisperer, Happiest Baby on the Block all denote serene calm solutions where what they suggest will allow you to place your calm, happy baby in their bed awake and they will just drift off to sleep  I have to raise the bullshit flag on this one.  Each and every book and most of the crap you read on the Internet forbid you to let your child cry it out to sleep.  Now I remember in my days of babysitting that many parents included this cry it out portion in their notes of the babies nighttime routine.  I even pulled out the ol' Dr. Spock book (circa 1971 by the way, that also promotes giving a child an empty cigarette box to entertain themselves with..) which he said that we have thus spoiled the child rotten by doing all this silly methods to put the baby in their bed while they are asleep.  He said that you do some bedtime cuddling, reading, or singing to calm the scene down, then put them in bed, give them a kiss and roll out.  Did he mention that you may want earplugs and a bottle of wine? Now I have also read the flip side to the cry it out outlining the evils of it, saying that the child will lose trust in their caregivers, loss of appetite and weight, and a general sullen nature will overtake them.  Choices choices.  No wonder you may see the same mom's car drive past your house 18 times in 2 hours as she now believes that she will ruin her child from letting them cry. 
I admit, I am working on the crying method.  I don't love it.  It absolutely breaks my heart to hear him cry, but I know that he is clean, fed, safe, loved, and above all tired.  He is crying because I am not putting him to sleep the usual way and it is hard for him to grasp. We will see how long this will last as the crying experts say that they will cry less and less each time.  I do have to say that with the new method in place he is starting to nap longer... Coincidence??

Vow of silence?

My poor child has faced a battle with cradle cap since he was 4 weeks old.  Cradle cap is a type of skin dermatitis that is like dandruff that is caused by all the hormones from pregnancy.  The scalp becomes this plate of hard crusty yellow scales that are super tempting to pick.  This particular dermatitis can also effect other parts of the body, giving  my son fishy scales behind and in his ears and between his eyebrows.  We can just say that I have not enjoyed this part of his growing up thus far.  The poor thing has spent 3/4 of his life looking and smelling like an old Italian man from all the olive oil I put on his head in hopes of breaking up the scales and taking them off. To no avail.
My son was also born with a wonderful head of hair that has earned him many the complement and smile. Not anymore.  I suppose in order for the damn scales to come off, as did his hair.  Can't win it all I guess. But now he looks like a monk about to head into the monastery. Or maybe its a glimpse into his future as both his grandfathers are a little light on the top too. 
The weather may be warming up but this kid will continue to wear hats.

Rogaine anyone?

So many people have said that pregnancy is 9 months up and 9 months down, wherein I felt positively normal by week 2 (albeit sleep deprived) and had since washed my hands of this whole pregnancy thing. I had also heard of the whole hair-loss game that occurs after one has enjoyed at least 5 months of beautiful locks.  A few strands came out here and there, then I had to sweep up the floor a little more than usual, then my brush had to be emptied on the regular.  Now when I shower I can pull it out by the fistful not just once, but the entire time my hair is wet. My bathroom floor looks like a Lhasa apso is permanently taking a siesta upon it.  Now it is interesting where you can find random hairs of mine. All over my son and husband, in  the mac and cheese, hanging randomly on picture in my living room  I was falsely mistaken that new moms cut their hair off for convenience sake, oh no, its because I am losing more hair than Howie Mandel and has the texture of a Brillo pad.   

NCAA

I am an avid basketball freak show and one may think that this post is way off track from the baby game but I have a confession to make.  Hi, my name is Anne and I am addicted to boogers.  The hospital never should have sent us home with that squishy blue bulb.  Granted, we should have listened at the time the nurse explained that the aspirator could make boogers worse and be quite irritating to the poor child's nose.  So i took that as doctrine and avoided the sucker at all costs.  When my son was afflicted with a bat in the cave, I could merely just pick it out with my own nail.  Why did you do that?, you ask. It is because I have now checked myself into Nose Cleaners and Aspirators Anonymous. When you spend 70 % of the time interacting with someone where you are constantly looking up their nose, you begin to notice things.  And you are faced with this insane desire to remove it.  At first, fingernails and the tips of cotton swabs did the trick.  It was almost a game, to see if you could get that little sucker out, a sweet victory if it was a big one.  Then I broke down and used the nasal aspirator for one that was wayyy deep in there.  Talk about fun! (Yeah this is how a SAHM gets her kicks nowadays)  In one fell swoop I got that little guy out and I know that my son could certainly breathe so much better for the next several hours.  He actually smiles when you come at him with the aspirator, so that adds an element of fun to the game. I feel that I have reached a new level when I think, well his nose is just full and get a little twinge of excitement to work them out for him. 
Please help me NCAA. 

More milestones

As of now he has discovered that hands can go in the mouth; sometimes two at a time and too far makes you gag. He is starting to laugh a little bit as you can see above when he plays with daddy.  Hey, wait, I have feet is what he has learned in the past couple of days. 

Guinea Pig

Apparently the firstborn child receives the brunt of new parental flubs.  I feel that many a day I am saying, 'hmm I didn't know you had to do that'.  Now I am not referring to the basics of diapering and feeding, he is not starving and sitting in his own funk; more on the lines of I didn't know I needed to clean that.  Case and point, my husband was giving my son raspberries on his tummy and hence said, phew what is that awful smell?  Thinking that we missed a crevice in changing his diaper, I did a quick check and found no culprits.  He then noticed some fuzz sticking out of our son's belly button and he picked it out saying it smells like rotten cheese.  I cringe putting this in my blog as it makes me out like a horrible mother, but I had no idea that simple bathing was not enough to clean a belly button.  Hell, mine just gets a little leftover soap in it and is good to go, not so much when you are a little guy with a new crevice. You gotta get in there with a q-tip.  Another area of unknown cleaning, ears.  Going in for a sweet nuzzle of your baby's head leads to a gross stomach lurch of why does he smell like fish?!  Uh, yeah, you gotta scrub behind his ears DAILY.  I feel that this confession is going to have CPS knocking at my door but its true that kids do not come with manuals. I am finding it exhausting to keep up with his daily beauty routine, wherein mine is diminishing to a good shower if I am lucky.  The lack of shaving, hair washing, and eye makeup is a whole 'nother blog.  
Many veteran moms and evil books go on about how you soon learn what the different cries mean.  I must be a raging dummy as it seems that I am just getting a grasp on attending to him as he cries, and there are still times where I don't know what the hell he wants.  I suppose it all falls in a pattern of eat, hang out, and sleep.  But when that pattern falls out of whack, I am left there with a crying child that should be eating, but he just ate, so I have no idea what he is asking for.  I am sure that he is hating on me at times like, mom damn I am tired cant you tell?!  He doesn't give the usual signals that one thinks of, yawning (hell he does that all day), rubbing his eyes, (he may errantly hit them when he is flailing about), and turning his head away from activity (never seen that one).  Maybe I need to become a stoic observer of my son's every action to figure it out.  I have several pages of a notebook started with my notations of what time he ate, slept, and played,and with his temperament, but that gem of an idea often falls to the wayside as the laundry climbs out of the basket to chase me while he lays crying in his bed.  Goes to show that I am spending most of my time raising him and not watching him.